The Ko-Written Story

Typically speaking, I am diametrically opposed to puns, but I’m thrilled about our Ko-written blog. I’m a little annoyed that I read Sam’s intro before even starting to brainstorm what I wanted to write because 1) there’s that sense of sibling rivalry that makes me want to make sure that mine is better and 2) I’m afraid that mine will now lack originality…but then I re-read his intro and it is so full of love and affection for me, of excitement for our collaboration, of the possibilities this blog holds for us. 

I do not feel shame. I feel gratitude. I’m grateful to have a brother who is generous with his love. I pause to think of how his appreciation and love for me softens my heart and makes me more human. That’s how our relationship works. I’m the no-nonsense, responsible, rule-following/enforcing older sister who gets.shit.done. but I also often forget what it means to connect, be relational, and have fun. Sam is the polar opposite, and I suppose that’s what makes us perfect for each other as siblings. We find balance through our relationship, and as a result become more wholly ourselves…and likely more bearable to others. 

Despite how different we are from each other, we are somehow able to find common ground in sharing our perspectives (oftentimes messy), and I think there is so much value in what we do together. Even if this endeavor does not lead to a six-to-seven figure book deal or the emergence of the Kobling Empire or whatever it was that Sam was going on about, I know that there will be value in sharing our story…even if the value is purely for ourselves and our relationship. 

Earlier last week, I had a moment of crisis when I realized just how scared I actually was of connection. I cried through many evenings and car rides, finally signed up for counseling, and talked to the people closest to me. This blog is likely a ripple-effect of my crisis, but it comes at the perfect time. As cliche as it has become, I’ve embarked on figuring out what it means to be authentically me and how that impacts the intimacy of my relationships. I don’t think it’s very often that I feel like I’m living out my true self. It’s often shrouded by some sense of obligation or responsibility and the monotonous drumming of my routines. I’m very much the typical older sister in an Asian-American immigrant family, but it isn’t my only narrative. There are many parts of myself that have been exiled, and I’m hoping that this blog is the beginning of my return home, the uncovering of my self. I love paradoxes, and so I smile at the thought that the journey of my self-discovery will come as a result of sharing and connecting with others, something I struggle with the most. 

Although things have gotten quite serious over the last paragraph with some intense over-sharing for an intro, the tenor of this blog isn’t intended to be solemn and didactic, but rather entertaining [cue Sam]. I want to share stories linked to the memories of our shared past as well as the food we love. I’m not sure what this blog will look like because as Sam said in his intro, this idea has been gestating for years and some iterations of our ideas have included cookbooks, travel logs, and essays. What I do know is that I want it to be funny, insightful, heart-warming, and most of all, full of love. I hope you will join us as we find our way.